Brave is now available on SoundCloud for Free! Go get your copy!
You are loved, you are wanted, & you are important.
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I’ve got to say, as I type this post I find myself struggling to collect my thoughts & form a coherent jumping off point. Where do I begin? I guess let me begin by reverting to what I’ve already said; you are loved, you are wanted, & you are important. These are easy words to say & easy words to hear but I know, at times, they can be difficult words to accept. We unfortunately live in a society that still treats mental illness like a fantasy; despite the science & the mounting evidence, depression is still seen as an excuse for the unhappy to be lazy. Counseling is seen as weak & confessing that you are not okay makes you come across as needy or over dramatic. Believe me, I know, I’ve been there. I struggled with depression for a lot of years, & while I eventually discovered the root cause of what ailed me, I still live with the constant fear of sliding back into it. You are not alone in your struggle.
I was first confronted with suicide when I was still in high school, a childhood friend of mine’s brother took his own life one November afternoon. I remember it vividly & in incredible detail. More than the news itself though I remember his memorial service. Hundreds of people from all around, all walks of life, & all ages, came to pay their respects to his family. Hundreds. I couldn’t fathom that. How could someone who had hundred of people mourning him feel so alone & low that he had to take his own life?
A few short years later I began my own battle with depression, at first I thought I was going insane. I began to have violent mood swings; I’d be happy one moment, then weeping the next. My family did their best to be supportive, my parents were especially helpful & helped me get in contact with a councilor. However, I remember one Easter lunch I began to have a breakdown & a family member told me to “suck it up” because “this day wasn’t about me.” Sometimes people won’t understand. Sometimes the preconceived ideas of reality get in the way. Know that what you are feeling is valid. No one can discredit the way you feel.
Eventually the therapist I was seeing passed away too, and while I’d made great, unmedicated progress I began to slide back into depression. However, something she’d said to me always stuck in my mind. She told me to find a lyric in a song, or a simple phrase, that I found comforting. When I’d start to have a breakdown I was to repeat the line over & over until it became the entire focal point of my mind. It was a lifeline to grab on to when I was drowning in my own mind. For me, a huge Beatles fan, the line can be found in Revolution. “Don’t you know it’s gonna be alright? Don’t you know it’s gonna be alright? Don’t you know it’s gonna be alright?”
Without my counselor though my depression worsened, I eventually went off to college where my depression went untreated for far too long. It cost me a lot; relationships, time, as well as my basic sanity. It wasn’t until I found myself sitting on my bathroom floor with a knife to my wrist that I decided enough was enough. I wish I could say that happened once, or even twice, in reality I got to the brink of ending it all three times before I picked myself up & began the search for help.
I am not ashamed of that. I am not ashamed to admit that depression almost got the best of me. For so many people it does, but I promise you, life it worth living. Through the sorrow & the moments where you’re staring down the crossroads of life & death; life is worth living. It may not seem like it today or tomorrow but I promise you better days will come. Don’t be afraid to ask for help; if you can’t ask a friend or family member, ask yourself for help. Look up a psychiatrist, send them an email, call their office, book an appointment, but get yourself help.
It’s okay to need help sometimes, we all do. Again, you are loved, you are wanted, & you are important. I pray you find peace & health. Love yourself & love others & know that life is worth living.
Hey all, huge favor to ask. I’m entered into the Nash Next completion for 955 Nash Icon! If you all could make an account, scroll through, & vote for Charlie Rogers “Too Many Miles” I would greatly appreciate it! Please feel free to get your friends & family members to do the same! Thank you!
First off, a bit of housekeeping.
So after a vote a few weeks ago, y’all, the fans, voted that you would like for me to do a blog. So here I am. I know technically “On Manchester” was my first official blog post but this will be the first that I’m consciously sitting down to write as a “blog post.” I struggled quite a bit around determining the framework that I want this blog to operate around; how often I want to write it, what I want to write about, etc. Then once I decided I wanted it to be weekly I struggled with the notion of coming up with new material weekly that felt genuine & wasn’t just a status update. So I haven’t written anything. Since “On Manchester” & deciding to do a blog I haven’t written anything. And my reasoning for being MIA is simply because I don’t know what to write about. Until tonight. Now I’m warning you here I want to talk about the anxiety attacks I’ve been having lately. My intention in doing so is not to gossip or seem petty or seem sympathetic. I am simply here to air somethings out & let you all know what is going on in my brain. So, without further ado.
The last few weeks I’ve been laying in one of two beds. The first bed I lay down in & immediately fall asleep only to be awakened several hours later by anxiety overload. The second of my insomnia beds forgoes the early hours of sleep & instead gives me the anxiety attack while I’m peacefully trying to unwind & drift into dream world. What is driving these attacks? Work. Plain & simple.
I don’t mean to undermine the progress that I’ve made in my music career or the people who are actively helping me advance it. To my parents, the fans, Josh (producer), Billie (manager), Johanna (Publicist), & anyone else who has taken the time/the money to advance my career because you believe in me, thank you. Please keep being amazing & believing in the dream. Without you all I’d be nowhere & I’d be nothing.
I guess my problem is that I feel stagnant. I feel stuck in one place without a clue how to get out. I know what I want & where I want to be, I just don’t know how to get there. I go through my weeks not knowing what needs to be done to move forward & therefore not doing them. I’ve begun to fall into this terrible cycle of comparing myself to my peers, something an artist should never do, & at times I’m envious of their progress while at the same time being incredibly proud of each & every one of them. I love the music I create, I love the fans I have, & the people who lift my up within this crazy industry but I don’t know how to make a living at it. I don’t know how to elevate myself from where I am now to where I want to be. It doesn’t help that the music industry can be incredibly discouraging at times. 10,000 no’s with very little yes’s starts to get to you over time, and yet I still love what I do, I still want to be doing what I’m doing. It’s even more frustrating when those you thought would help elevate you turn their backs on you, or treat you like you’re less than them just because they’re farther along. I find myself more & more turning to social media outlets in search of you all, the fans. You’ll never know how much your support means to me & breathes life into what I’m doing. You are the affirmation that what I am doing is good & worthwhile & means something to someone other than myself or those close to me. So I cannot thank you enough on that front.
I guess I just need to come up with a plan of action, something I can do every single day that let’s me know I’m doing something, that I’m making progress, I just don’t know where to start. And that’s what’s causing the anxiety; I am looking up the side of a mountain with no idea where to place my footing. I don’t know which route to climb that’ll lead me to the top & that frustrates me. I think I’m going the right way for so long then I find myself upside down or back exactly where I started but I endure, I forage onward towards the next great obstacle I’m sure to encounter.
I didn’t mean for this to be a bitch-fest, I apologize if it came across as one & I apologize if anyone was offended by what I had to say, it wasn’t my intent. I simply need to air my frustrations & let y’all into my head for a minute as I sit here in the dark full anxiety attack in swing. I know never to act upon emotion but I have been trying to whittle down what I want to write about the last few days & this felt appropriate. I think I’ll let you all decide on future blog posts. Send me to topics you want me to write on & those that strike a chord with me, I’ll write on! Have a great day/night, depending upon when you’re reading this, & know how much I appreciate each & every one of you!
Where to start? I’ve been mulling over what I wanted to say all night, losing sleep trying to find my way through mental overload while carrying a heavy heart. With the world we live in injustice & hate seem to run so rampant at times it almost becomes deafening; the constant strain of one tragedy after another really wears you thin. But this evenings attack has really had an effect on me.
As an artist it is unfathomable for me to think of someone using music, something that unifies us in experience, in emotion, as a way to spread fear & hate. Music is truly one of the great unifiers. I cannot conceive of having people who love & appreciate the art that you create, come to revel in the connection that has been forged between you & them, just to have someone use it as a way to divide, harm, & spread hate & fear.
To the families & friends of those effected by last night’s tragedy, I am inconceivably sorry for the loss & harm that you find yourselves with today. I pray for each & every one of you.
To Manchester, I see the strength you carry & admire your willingness to put your lives on hold & help your fellow man.
To the emergency personnel on site, thank you for your readiness in service & professionalism in handling the situation.
To Ariana Grande, please don’t let this act deter you, do not let the attacker win. I know it may seem impossible but carry on, become a unifier. Continue the tour, spread joy across the world. Do not let them win.
We cannot let fear dictate our lives. Please continue going to concerts, please continue loving music, and most of all, please continue loving each other.
I love & pray for each & every one of you,
Nashville pop-country crooner Charlie Rogers is premiering his new song “Too Many Miles” exclusively for readers of The Boot. Press play below to listen.
“Too Many Miles,” Rogers’ latest single, is, quite simply, a song about being a little too far away from the one you’re in love (or lust) with — but it goes a bit deeper than that. For Rogers, the lyric “I won’t care if the lights are on” is especially important.
“I know a lot of people, including myself, struggle with body image, but, to me, that line implies so much more,” says Rogers. “To me, that line says, let me see you as you are, without the weight of your perceived imperfections getting in the way. I want you to know that I want you as you are, without all the things, including darkness, covering you up, because you are beautiful.”
A Kansas-born, Nashville-based singer-songwriter, Rogers has been in Music City since 2010; he graduated from Belmont University with a degree in commercial vocal performance. Rogers has shared the stage with country icons and current superstars such as Ricky Skaggs and the Brothers Osborne.
More information about Rogers is available on CharlieRogersMusic.com.
Read More: Charlie Rogers, ‘Too Many Miles’ [Exclusive Premiere] | http://theboot.com/charlie-rogers-too-many-miles-song/?trackback=tsmclip
Listen to it on Apple Music:
Get it on iTunes:
New Single “Too Many Miles” will be available across all media platforms on May 9th!
June Night will be out on all streaming and purchasing sites June 3rd!
We’ve been hard at work in the studio piecing together music for the next year. We’ve currently working on four separate singles that will be released quarterly throughout the year. These singles include “June Night,” “Brave,” “The Taylor Swift Relationship Medley,” & a “Redux” of “Jericho!” We will keep you update on release dates, album covers, etc., as soon as they become available!